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While at a venue with a client the other day we got to walk through the ballroom while it was being set up for a wedding reception that evening.  In the midst of the chaso was one of the wedding planners we’ve all seen on TV (come on you know you watch the Style channel) overseeing a sea of assistants working on the most outrageous decor!!  ALL of the linens were custom made, the centerpieces had a base of beautiful jewel colored flowers with branches reaching towards the ceiling with balls of red flowers & crystals dripping from them .  The menus at each place setting were wrapped in 3 - count them 3 - bengaline napkins hand tied with a beaded ribbon and there were various sizes of gold candles everywhere.   There was a separate lounge seating area, custom drapes that covered the windows (and hid the beautiful view) and a huge dias for the wedding party.  Special lighting was another feature and a 12 pc band was scheduled to play.  We heard rumors that the cost for everything was over $150,000 for 200 people.  You can imagine how spectacular that room was going to look after all the candles had been lit and the lights were dimmed.

Now let’s take a deep breath and turn the page as I recall a recent article in our local newspaper about a wedding planner who can do your entire wedding, including vendors and her fee, for $10,000.  Yup, $10,000.00.

 So what’s a bride to do??  I’ve got to tell you that my client, for the same amount of people, will not be spending $150,000.00 but will be spending more then $10,000.00.  We’ve hired a fantastic decorator whose sample centerpieces just blew us away.  White orchids, roses and candles will be everywhere.  Out of season peonies for the bride’s bouquet, charger plates, custom ice sculptures, special lighting and letter press stationery included.  But what about that $10,000 wedding??

My concern with that article, and that price, is that there was alot of information missing.   What do you get for this $10,000?  What kind of food?  Where’s the event being held??  How many guests? Does it include a photographer, flowers, DJ, invitations??   If so who gets to choose them?  If it’s the planner, what if the client doesn’t like her vendors???

I had a consultation with a lovely couple the other day.  Their budget for 150+ people was $15,000.00 and they wanted an outdoor weekend destination for their guests.  They asked how realistic their budget was and I tried to be honest.  I’ve had clients start out with that amount and when they realize what they can (or cannot get) the budget starts to slowly increase until they’ve spent $5,000 - $20,000 more then originally projected.   Either that or the guest list shrinks.

Why?  Because my experience, and research conducted by Brides Magazine, shows that brides want what they want and when the (finally) find it, they’re willing to pay for it.  Do you have to spend $150,000 to get it?  In my opinion absolutely not.  Will you get it if your budget is only $10,000?  Well that all depends on your willingness to compromise. 

My hat is off to the planner who can do your entire wedding for $10,000.00.  I’d love to see a sample of her work.  The article showed a very happy bride and that price range does fill a big niche.   My hat is also off to the planner who did the $150,000 wedding.  She does alot of high end weddings and does them very well.   Should I ever have a client with that kind of budget I’ll tell them the same thing I tell all of my clients now -  if I’m not spending that kind of money (on whatever it is) then neither are you!  I try to make sure that my clients get the most bang for their buck (and trust me my single daughter knows this.  She’s already told me that the majority of her budget is going to be spent on a fabulous dress and her guests can eat hot dogs & beans.  It’s a bridge I’ll cross when the time comes……).   Who knows what that $150,000 wedding would have cost or what it would have looked like if those clients tried to do all of that on their own. 

So here’s my point (again) - hiring a wedding planner should save you money regardless of the size of your budget.  IMHO that’s what a good wedding planner should do!  Your wedding day is an investment in your future as a married couple.  If you don’t know how to spend your money wisely - hire a qualified professional to help you.  It’s the only sane way!

I am an active member of the Association of Bridal Consultants here in NJ.  At a recent local networking group meeting one of our speakers was a recently engaged young man.  He sat through dinner and listened as the planners at the table discussed venues and vendors that they would prefer not to use again.  At the end of the meeting he pulled me aside and asked if he and his fiance could take me to dinner one night to ask me some questions about how to get started on the journey that will culminate in their wedding.  I do offer “ask the planner” consultations and agreed to meet with them.  As we were parting he said “I didn’t know that I didn’t know all that’s involved in planning a wedding.”

That sentence, in a nutshell, is why an experienced wedding planner can be such a vital part of your planning process.  As someone not on the inside, so to speak, you’re not going to know that one planner had to use her “mother voice” (as I call it) to finally get the PA system going for an outdoor wedding after she had been asking nicely for almost 2 hours!!  Imagine you’re the bride at that wedding without a planner.  You get to the altar to meet your groom and as you stand there in front of family and friends, ready to take your vows, you discover there’s no sound and no one can hear you.  What are you going to do??

Let’s say you want to book the venue that was the site of a wedding I did recently.  Without me as your planner you wouldn’t know that I will not voluntarily walk into that building again.  While the building renovations are extensive and mostly well done you wouldn’t know how impossibly difficult and frustrating it was to deal with their management staff.  Trust me when I tell you nothing in life should be that difficult.

IMHO an experienced planner is essential to a smooth planning process.  Their circle of contacts and reliable vendors can save you time, money, and aggravation.  Hiring a planner puts you on the inside so you get to find out all you need to know that you didn’t know you needed to know. 

It’s bridal show season.  I’ve been going to venues that I’ve not been to before to familiarize myself with the property, their food, and their service.  I also go to meet vendors that I may not have known about before.  Today I visited a property that was a good 45 minutes from my office.  I had heard good things about this place and wanted to see it for myself.  I set the address into my trusty GPS, filled up my tank with (getting more costly everyday) gasoline and off I went to be wowed!

The first thing that struck me as I approached the site from the main road was that there was no sign either indicating the venue or that there was a bridal show there that day (which is why I drove right by it even though the GPS kept telling me I had reached my destination). 

After I turned around and pulled into the driveway I noticed a sign pointing to valet parking yet there were no valets to be found.  I parked my own car (which I would have done anyway) and walked to the front door.  As I walked into the lobby I felt like I was in the wrong place.  There was no one to greet me at the door, no coat check, no guidance, no nothing.

I continued to walk through the wood paneled lobby with comfortable furniture and lit fireplace and found nothing but silence.  Finally someone with a name tag (I’m guessing she was a venue employee) appeared and gave me directions to my inquiry regarding the location of the bridal show.

Down a wide staircase and through a maze of halls following the plaques on the walls for the ballroom I finally found the area where the bridal show was being held.  The halls were packed with vendors to the point that it was difficult to move especially if you stopped in front of one of the tables to speak to the vendor about their wares or services.  Seriously, did they really need to have 8 photographers there??  The bakery who supplies the wedding cakes for the venue was there with 3 mock ups but no cake samples.

The ballroom was beautiful and spacious and light poured through the windows.  One table was set as if for a wedding and the rest were bare except for tablecloth and one lonely votive candle.  The chef was behind the table where chafing dishes of ravioli and penne were available to sample.  The hallway included a table with cheese & crackers and crudite’. 

The pasta in the ballroom was barely warm.  I caught a glimpse of two servers with passed hors d’oeurves of tiny stuffed mushrooms and spinach in phyllo dough.  They made one pass and then disappeared.  I never got to taste either so I couldn’t tell if they were freshly made or warmed up out of a box from COSTCO. 

I left after being there for maybe 15 minutes.  I found the door that I should have used to enter which took me outside and up a flight of stair to a pathway that went passed the front door.

When I go to a venue I want to feel welcome and be impressed from the moment I pull into the parking lot until the moment I leave.  As a potential client of that venue you should want that too!

Can all of my issues be fixed?  Sure they can but it’s my (humble) opinion that they never should have been issues in the first place.  I’m glad I took that long drive today.  Now I can cross this site off my list of places to recommend to my clients.

     I hear it all the time “You’re a wedding planner??!!!  I’d LOVE to be a wedding planner!!!  I just did my daughter’s (or my own or my best friend’s) wedding.  I had a BLAST – I’d LOVE to do it again!!”  I have to laugh a little to myself whenever I hear this.  The comments are made when the event is over not when they’re in the midst of the planning.  It reminds me of childbirth - all the discomfort and pain of the last nine months is forgotten the moment that baby is born.

     I wonder if they remember how the big disagreement between mother (or stepmother) and the bride was settled without causing any hard feelings?  Who negotiated the contract with a vendor who kept saying “no” or “that will cost you more” by getting them to say “yes” or “I’ll throw that in at no extra charge?”  Who handled the call from the limo company while everyone was having their hair and make up done?  How many florists did you contact before you found one that did great work at a reasonable price?       

     Weddings are expensive - let’s not kid ourselves.  A good wedding planner should be able to save you their fee in negotiating contract costs with vendors on your behalf.  They should also be able to save you time and aggravation and bring a sense of order and calm to your wedding day.  A good wedding planner should make you feel confident that your wedding day will go as smoothly as possible and that you’ve gotten the most for every dollar spent.  How much is peace of mind worth to you on the most important day of your life?

     How much is your time worth? Do you really have the time to research all the reception sites in the area that can accommodate 200 people?   Do you know which hotels will give the best room rates at which times of the year?  Do you know how to negotiate a package with your vendors to get the most for your money?  Who’s going to help you at the ceremony site and reception so that everyone can relax and enjoy the day?

     Experience counts!!  Just because your cousin’s photographer did a great job for her three years ago doesn’t mean that photographer is currently up to date on the latest technologies.  The food at your best friend’s reception was phenomenal but did you know they’ve changed chefs and menus at that venue since then??  The DJ at your co-worker’s wedding was did such a great job that you want to book him.  When you call that company how do you know you’re getting the same DJ?? 

     It is my experience that there are clients out there who really want and/or need a planner yet don’t hire one because they think it’s too expensive.  You don’t have to have a big, fat, fabulous event budget to hire a planner.  Having a planner is invaluable and I don’t just say that because I’m a planner.  I’ve had day of events clients say to me that they wish they’d hired me sooner.  I’ve had other clients wonder out loud what they would have done if  hadn’t been there to help during the planning process or a day of event crisis. 

    I don’t offer specific packages and pricing because I feel that each event is unique and deserving of it’s own service proposal and fees.  There are lots of planners out there at various price points and offering various kinds of services.  Do the research to find the planner that’s right for you.  You’ll be glad you did!!   

I have just returned from a wonderful week in Aruba.  Warm (ok sometimes hot) weather, soft sand, and blue water.  We stayed in the high rise section and the hotel was packed.  If you weren’t at the pool at 7:30am you weren’t getting a chair.  It was a little easier at the beach but then we weren’t there during the weeks of Christmas and New Year’s. where we heard that there were fist fights on the beach over chairs……

I’ve been to Aruba the “happy island” before.  We went with friends in September 2005.  We specifically picked Aruba because it’s not in the hurricane zone.  We landed the day after the worst storm the island had seen in 50 years.  It got hit by the tail end of Hurricane Ivan.  A 20 minute ride from the airport to the hotel took 2 1/2 hours.  The island was a mess the entire week we were there.  Some roads were so flooded that people were walking up to their shoulders in water.  Homes that were not on the ocean looked like lakefront property.  Some hotels and restaurants were closed for months afterwards as they struggled to rebuild.

We’ve all seen the ads in the travel sections of the local papers advertising the different hotels and prices.  How do you know, if you’ve never been to a location, which hotel is the best one for you?

I’ve seen the shows on TV that show couples taking off for destination weddings at locations where they’ve never been before and I wonder”if you wouldn’t think of booking a reception site here in the US without visiting it first and tasting their food why on earth would you pick a destination site for a wedding without visiting it first???”

I guess the reply to that is “because it’s an added expense”  and destination weddings can expensive depending on the location.  On Aruba (or any island), everything has to be  brought in by airplane or ship.  Food is expensive there especially at the bigger hotels and the nicer restaurants.  To give you an example - my husband and I went to Hooters for lunch one day (trust me Hooters was not my choice) and it cost $50.00.  That’s right - $50.00 for a hamburger, fries, buffalo wings , and two beers, tax & tip.  Dinner each night for the two of us averaged $100 (and I don’t drink) and I would only go back to one of the restaurants.  We did find a lovely restaurant downtown right on the water for lunch as we were driving to the airport go home that had good food at reasonable prices.  Who do you rely on if you’ve never been there before??

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that if you come to me for help with a destination wedding we’re taking a short trip so we can see the location, taste the food, and choose your vendors.  If I’ve never been there and you can convince me that you know the location like the back of your hand I might reconsider.   

Things to keep in mind include bringing your own vendor (like a photographer) if you can’t find one at your destination that you like.   Also, some islands have their own “time” which means that they operate “close” to the designated time but not necessarily “on” the designated time.  While this should not be a problem at a name hotel it might be at a smaller property.  Also regardless of the size of the property if you’re there during a holiday (ours or theirs) you can expect things to be even slower and perhaps more expenisve.  Cell phone service could also be an issue.  Yours might not work on foreign soil or might incur expensive roaming charges.

If you think the details of a wedding at home are stressful think about doing that same thing at a location far, far away.  There are alot of logistics involved but the payoff could be the wedding of your dreams in warm, soft sand at the each of a turquoise blue ocean during a sunset that will blow you away…..

“Tis the season to get engaged!!  The holidays seem to bring out the “will you marry me?” question and the resounding “YES!!” answer.  As an engaged couple you bask in the glow of the proposal and prospects for the future for a few weeks while you share the wonderful news with family and friends.  Then the reality of planning the wedding sets in.

I’ve had calls in recent days from brides inquiring about my wedding planning services. Each bride that I’ve had to turn away because I’m already booked has said the same thing “I should have called you sooner.”  I couldn’t agree more.  If you have to book your venue over a year in advance why wouldn’t you get a planner at the same time (or even before you book your venue)? 

Two thousand eight is turning out to be a banner year!  Most of my current clients booked me a minimum of a year in advance of their proposed wedding date – especially those during the prime months from April through October.  While I do still have dates available during those months some weekends just seem to be more popular then others.  This can apply to all wedding vendors and related services (room blocks for out of town guests for instance). 

By calling a wedding planner before you get started you can get the help you need from the very beginning.  Schedule a consultation so that you canmeet the planner, discuss how the planner can be of service, and receive a proposal containing services and related fees.  That consultation shouldn’t cost you anything but time.

The earlier you start, the more options you have, the more likely you are to get what you want on the first try, the less stress you have, the better you’ll be able to actually enjoy your wedding! 

So what are you waiting for??? 

I subscribe to GOOGLE ALERTS and each day I get a list of the articles found on the internet that contain key words regarding me and my website.  Some of the articles pertain to event planning and some do not.  If I click on those that seem to be of interest it starts me on a maze of additional links which can go on for hours.

Today, for example, there was a link to a BLOG on www.stylemepretty.com which lead to a link to three other websites each with links to even more websites and blogs.  From this search I added to two BLOGS to my BLOGROLL which was the purpose of clicking on the original link in the first place.  During the search for relevant web content I got off on a tangent for recipes which lead me to two sites I NEVER would have known existed had I not been searching for items of interest to archive for later use.  The potential to keep wandering seemed to be endless.

The point of this post is that if you’re looking for help on the internet there’s ALOT of  information out there.  It can be overwhelming if you don’t make each search specific.  For example let’s say you need help choosing the colors for your wedding so  “today I’m looking for color pallettes for my wedding” and go from there.  If you find other sites during this search that will help you with your next search for let’s say “centerpiece ideas” make a note of those websites and come back to them later.  Once you get off the specific path you were on you forget why you started in the first place, waste two hours, and have gotten nothing accomplished. 

Be focused on the task at hand and try not to stray off course.  Once you do, you may be doomed.  If you need help - call me!!  That’s what I’m here for!

During recent visits to venues with clients looking to book a location for their event several questions arose regarding some terms in the individual venue contracts. 

1. Tax and Gratuity.  First, NEVER pay tax on the gratuity.  If each is being charged as a percentage (usually 18% gratuity and <in NJ> 7% sales tax) and your per person cost is $100 per person ++ (plus tax, plus gratuity) then your actual cost per person is 25% higher or $125 per person.   It should not be $126.20 which would be the total if the venue calculates tax including the gratuity.     

2.  “Service Charge” vs “Gratuity.”  Service charge could mean an additional cost to you for the staff for your event.  If this is the definition of service charge at your venue then the gratuity will be extra.  Be aware when you look at a contract that some venues include service (waitstaff, bartenders, busboys, chefs, captains, etc) in the per person cost.  Other venues list it as an additional line item usually as a percentage of the total.  If you see “service charge” on the contract don’t assume that’s the gratuity.  Always ask to be 100% sure.

3.  Change of date fee.  Some venues will charge a fee to change the date of your event after you’ve signed your contract.  The venue has held your date and turned away other business and may feel entitled to charge you a fee to change to another date.  If this is not spelled out in your contract you have a good chance to fight it.  If it is in your contract add the stipulation that the change fee will be refunded if the venue can re-book your original date.  This would also work if you cancel completely and your deposit is listed as non-refundable.  If the venue (or vendor) can re-book your date they should be willing to refund your deposit.

These are all items that your event planner should be able to watch out for on your behalf and negotiate accordingly.

I recently did a wedding at a beautiful multi-function venue in northern NJ that has a strict policy of not allowing brides to see each other.  We were rushed through the rehearsal and the venue’s on-site coordinator started the ceremony early (my protesting did nothing to disuade him).  This lead to confusion during the ceremony and some guests not getting in to see the ceremony even though they arrived before the alloted time.  There was also an issue with photographs being taken outside of the reception area without permission from the on-site co-ordinator .  “You’re not allowed outside without me knowing about” was the comment from the on-site coordinator after he found the photographer and bride in the hallway with the bride’s aunt for a special photo.

If you’re considering a venue that can hold more then one event at a time ask who’s in charge of timing - you or them.  Also ask how strict they are about one bride seeing another and if permission is required before the bride can leave the reception area for any reason.  If you don’t like the answers to your questions or if they don’t seem flexible in their policy - another venue might be for you.

I am a firm believer in being on time.  If the invitation says the ceremony is at 6:00pm that doesn’t mean 6:05 pm or 6:15pm.  I will start the processional at 6:00pm.  The longer you wait to start the ceremony the less time you may have to enjoy your cocktail hour.  If your timeline is delayed because you got a late start with your ceremony, or you’re late starting introductions at the reception, your reception venue isn’t going to add on extra time at the end so that you get your four hours (unless you pay for it of course).

If you’re thinking of extending your event past the contracted time period (if it’s your wedding reception that’s usually 4 hours) and don’t have an event planner make sure to mention it to all your vendors including the reception venue ahead of time. Every vendor who stays (entertainment, photographer, videographer) will charge you extra to stay and that’s on top of what the venue will charge you for the OT for their wait staff and alcohol. If the venue charges on a per person basis it will be based on the # of guests you gave as the final count NOT the # of guests who are still there at the time you decide to extend. Consider an after party at a nearby bar instead (either planned or spontaneous). Everyone will pay for their own drinks (including yours) and you can dance the night away to the band that’s playing. Your vendors will appreciate it as they weren’t planning on staying the extra hour and may not be prepared to stay.