“…..  But she’s got a great personality!”

In the last 5 years I have been very fortunate to work with some of the best photographers in the USA let alone NJ.  At one wedding the photographer was very concerned that the bride didn’t have the type of  personality he needs to make his photos work.  “You know me Kath” he said, “I need personality, someone who’s going to relax and let go.  You know how I work.”   At the time I knew what he meant – the bride was a little stiff.  However, being the pro that he is, he worked well with what he had and the pictures were amazing.

His comments got me to thinking about how the personality AND style of  your wedding photographer should match YOUR personality and style.  Say you’re looking at samples of a photographer’s work and you see some photos that you like.  Think about what those subjects had to do to get that shot (“OK John lean in like you’re going to kiss her but don’t kiss her – hold it right there.  No, don’t close your eyes, look right at her but softly – don’t blink.  Sorry, I know the sun is in your eyes….   Hold it, hold it.  Good!!”).  Some great shots are done without the subjects knowing there’s a camera anywhere near them.  Others are  set up and made to look like no one was holding a camera anywhere near them.  Are you willing to do what it takes to get that shot done??

Right now I have a core group of photographers that are my “go to” shooters.    Each one has a different personality and photographic style.    Tell me what type of person you are and what kind of photos you’re looking for and I’m confident I can find the right photographer for you at the right price.

Your photographer is going to be with you all day.  Make sure the person behind the camera is someone you want to spend that much time with  otherwise it’s going to be a really L O N G day for everyone and both of you might not like the results.

A Celebration of Life!!

Tina and Bob

All the Best had the privilege of working with Tina and Bob while they were planning their September 2009 wedding.  They had been dating for quite some time and they were both excited to be married.  They chose a site on the beach because the ocean is very special to both of them.  They are both merchant marine captains whose fathers were both merchant marine captains.

Shortly after we started working together Tina told me that Bob had been diagnosed with cancer.  In no way did this slow either of them down – full speed ahead went the planning!  We chose a venue and they found a church nearby.  Photographer, DJ, and florist were chosen while Tina was on leave from her ship.  When she was in captain mode we communicated by e-mail and cell phone.  Bob’s treatment was on going and when one therapy didn’t work Tina researched and found others.

It was so easy and fun to work with them.   Tina knew exactly what she did and did not want.   She chose carnations for most of their flowers because Bob liked them.  The DJ went out of his way to find a particular sailing song that while solemn was one they both liked.

Their love and faith in each other never waivered and Tina always had something positive to say.  Bob even planned his therapy around the wedding so he would feel as well as possible on the big day.  Family and friends traveled from near and far in order to celebrate with the happy couple!  As a testament to his sense of humor Bob had a “NIC (not under command)” symbol on the sole of his shoe that all could see when he knelt during the ceremony.  At the end of the day both bride and groom were very happy with the way their day had gone.  We at All the Best were proud to have been a part of it all.

Tina called yesterday to tell me that Bob had passed away on Thursday after a 3 year battle with cancer.  She also told me to tell the photographer that she would be in touch to order her wedding album and would be using some of the proofs at his memorial.  She and Bob had picked out the pictures.  I am  devastated.  I can only imagine how Tina feels.  They were married for just about 5 1/2 months.

So the next bride who gets upset because something ridiculously small happened to cause her day not to be perfect will hear the story of Tina and Bob.  A life together cut short because of a deadly disease that no amount of planning or detailed lists could make perfect.

Tina seemed to be at peace knowing that Bob was not suffering any more.  My heart goes out to her and the members of Bob’s family.  He was a great guy who loved Tina and will be missed by all who knew him.

It IS What you Know!

Today I arrived in Indianapolis to attend my first Association of Bridal Consultants Annual Fall Conference.  My seat mate on the plane was a very nice man who is an education consultant to school districts throughout the US who have more students that are failing then are passing.  His career includes 22 years as a classroom teacher and he told me that he stills reads and studies constantly.  “Every good teacher ” he told me “is always learning.”  After observing in the classrooms, he works out a plan that is specific to each district, then he guides the team of teachers and administrators through the implementation process for his action plan.  In one of his districts the 7th graders went from having the lowest math scores in the district to among the highest.

As we were getting off the plane I realized that our work processes are very similar.  Granted, I’m not raising the education level of our nation’s youth, however, guiding clients through the process of planning their wedding is truly a milestone in their lives.  After a consultation with my clients I put my education and 25+ years of experience to work.  An action plan is formulated which is then implemented by guiding my clients and their family and friends through the process.

I still get a thrill when I learn something new.  That will never get old.  I’m looking forward to taking advantage of all this conference has to offer and to participating in other conferences, classes, and networking opportunities as they become available throughout my career as an event planner.  The more I can bring to the table for my clients, the better!!

It’s a Matter of Trust

Some of my clients don’t trust me.  What I mean is they don’t trust my expertise.  They have an idea in their head of what they want, when they want it and what it should cost. Sometimes there’s very little I can do to change their minds.

photo courtesy Storytale Wedding Photography

One of the biggest arguments I get is about transportation. When I started my own business the first company I signed on was a limo company that I had used when I had a corporate job.  They’re a little more expensive then other limo companies and, IMHO, worth every penny.  When I book them I don’t have to worry about anything.  I know their cars are immaculate, their drivers professional and their timing is spot on.  I get a discount which I share with my clients.  In 5 years I’ve had one complaint about a driver being a little cranky.

I had clients who decided at the last minute they wanted limo transportation for their wedding.  They thought the rates for my go to company were too high and found another company on their own.  While the final decision as to which vendors to use is always the clients I try to make sure they understand the consequences of choosing solely by price.  Their June wedding day was hot.  The air conditioning in the guys limo overheated on the way to the ceremony.  The drivers kept the cars idling during the ceremony to keep them cool and another one overheated.  The company only had one car to send as a replacement and it took over an hour for it to arrive.

Several years ago I had a client who only wanted the raw video footage from her wedding day.  Prep, ceremony, reception – nothing fancy, no music, no photo montage – just the video please.  She chose a company based solely on price.  I knew this company and begged her not to use them and gave her several other options – all were more expensive.  She went with her original choice and got her video within a week of the wedding.  She was very disappointed.  Some of the video was out of focus, most of it was grainy and the videographer didn’t get some of the footage she wanted.

I have quite a few options regarding floral professionals depending on (a) the budget and (b) the vision of the bride. Peonies are all over the bridal magazines.  What the magazines don’t tell you is that they have the shortest season of almost any flower.  A bride last year really wanted peonies in her bouquet for her August wedding.  While her floral designer and I did our best to dissuade her, she was insistent.  The designer was able to find a supplier who promised 6 stems for $250 (!).  When the flowers arrived they were in such poor condition that the florist couldn’t use them.

When putting together a timeline I work with all the professionals to make sure we get the most out of cocktail hour and 4 hour reception. A former client had it in her mind that things were going to be done in a certain order and there was no changing her mind.  She was 2 hours late for pictures and didn’t get to see any of her cocktail hour.  Her very expensive band barely had time to get everyone up and dancing because of the way she had truncated the schedule.  She almost missed the last dance because of the pictures she insisted on taking “under the moonlight”

The moral of the story is trust.  A qualified experienced planner will help you see through the mist and mirrors to decide which options are best for you.  Communication is key.  Managing your expectations helps too.  Champagne tastes on a beer budget are going to lead to disappointment on the big day which is something no one wants.  Listen to your professionals and communicate effectively so that there are no grey areas when it comes to the final product.  That’s how you get the happy ending!!

The Value of a Wedding Planner

The wedding industry is not immune to the current economy.  Venues and professionals are all seeing cutbacks in bookings.  I’ve spoken to photographers who are booking more “basic” packages than ever before.  Services like video are being cut out completely, DJs are replacing bands, and everyone is talking about how clients want to negotiate their prices downward.

It seems to me that while quite a few brides want a wedding planner it’s the first item to go as the budget shrinks and costs for other services rise.  There are lots of different kinds and levels of wedding planners from very expensive (think David Tutera and Colin Cowie) to not so expensive (think someone who has no actual experience but took a course, put up a website, and now calls themself a wedding planner) to all price points in between.

Keeping in mind that I’m a wedding planner – I can honestly say that having the right wedding planner adds value to your event.  How you might ask??  Let me give you some examples.

A recent full service clients saved almost $4,000 after I went over their contracts with all their vendors and professionals.  When her guest count fell short of their minimum guarantee I made sure they didn’t pay for meals no one will eat while still keeping the venue happy.

A day of event client paid more for her flowers and transportation services then she should have because she wouldn’t pay the minimal amount to add these services to her contract with me.  I am confident that I could have saved her close to $1000 when the additional services would have cost her much less than that.

Some of the professionals that I work with will add services at no charge or waive some fees for my clients. I’ve been able to negotiate deals with other professionals as well.  It’s all about relationships.

I had a consultation recently with a mother of the bride for day of event service.  I love the venue where the wedding will take place and really thought the consultation went well.  After receiving my service proposal she decided not to book my services because she felt she didn’t need the amount of work that I was proposing.  The items she felt she didn’t need were the very essence of my day of event service and she was looking to pay substantially less then what I proposed.  While I was disappointed I wished them well.  I heard after the fact that quite a few things didn’t go as planned ……

I truly believe that you get what you pay for.  In the past when I’ve tried to work with clients on pricing it’s bitten me in the butt big time.  All the wedding professionals I’ve spoken to agree that those who want to pay the least usually end up asking for the most.  Please keep this in mind when you’re looking to book the professionals for your event.  I will speak only for myself when I say if you’re price shopping I am not the planner for you.  I’m not saying my prices are higher than everyone else because they’re not, however, 25+ of experience comes at a higher price then someone who just took a course.

If you want value added to your wedding here at the Jersey Shore give me a call.  The consultation is free!  See?  You’re saving money already!!

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know – Part II

I have several clients who are getting married at a very upscale location here at the Jersey Shore.  They pay a fee to rent the facility.  They knew they had to hire a caterer, entertainment, and a florist.  They didn’t know that tables, chairs and linens for cocktail hour (or outside of the dining room) were not included. This is an additional expense they were not anticipating and are only finding this out as they negotiate their contract with the caterer and florist.

Recently I read a posting on a DJs website whom I use often (well as often as he’s available – he’s a busy guy!).  The comment was from a bride who came to the realization that while her wedding day is very important to her and her fiance it’s just one day in their lives.  They do want their wedding day to be special but they don’t want the tears of frustration that have already been shed to turn to tears of anger.

Weddings can be stressful.  As happy a day as it’s supposed to be – stress does play a big part in wedding planning.  That’s one of the things you don’t know until you’re in the midst of it.  Things you thought would be easy turn out to be more difficult then anybody could have anticipated (“Why can’t Uncle Joe sit with Cousin Jeff and his wife?”).  Things that appeared in a magazine have a way of not being the same when you want the same thing (“But the summer issue of <name that bridal magazine> showed peonies in the bride’s bouquet for only $100!  Why is my bouquet going to cost 5x that???” (because peonies aren’t in season at the time of your wedding and will have to be imported and that’s IF the florist can get them).

If you had $25,000 to invest would you use your best friend’s brother’s college roommate to invest it because he used a dart and the stock chart to pick his investments once and made a profit or would you hire a professional to help you get the most out of that money??  If you’re spending $25,000 on your wedding would you know where to go and who to hire to get the most out of your investment? Or would you hire a professional wedding planner to help you manage your budget, learn the things you didn’t know you didn’t know, and get the most bang for your bucks?

Even as a professional wedding planner I learn new things that I didn’t know I didn’t know almost everyday. Do you know where to spend and where to save?  Do you know what else you don’t know you didn’t know??  Investing in a professional planner is easier then you might think.  Start with a consultation, ask as many questions as you can, ask for references, and get a proposal in writing then take it from there.  Then you’ll come to know what you didn’t know and change those tears of frustration to tears of joy!

Getting Your Exercise

Have you ever heard the phrase “He (she) gets his/her exercise by jumping to conclusions?”  It’s one of my favorites!  My ex-boss was famous for it.  Some people make assumptions – it’s almost like profiling – with the least amount of information.

For example, I get a lot of “my ___________ doesn’t like working with wedding planners” from my clients who have already chosen their professionals before hiring me.  This cracks me up!  While I’ve worked with plenty of professionals I’d rather not work with again I don’t assume that everyone in their industry behaves the same.  If I did I’d never hire another videographer.

I’ve had professionals come up to me after an event to express their hopes that we’ll work together again.  They had kept their assumptions to themselves before the event and gave me a chance to show them how All the Best is there to help not hinder them. I had one videographer (not the one referenced above) tell me he was apprehensive about working with a wedding planner because of past experiences. He told me that I was so easy to work with that he would recommend me to his clients.  Now that’s a compliment!!

I have a client who made the “my photographer doesn’t work with planners” statement to me the other day.   The funny thing is that the guy who said it isn’t even the shooter at her wedding – he’s sending one of his associates!  I have called this photographer three times and have yet to have the courtesy of a return phone call.  I’ve been as nice as pie when leaving messages trying to let him know that I’m there to help not hinder.  So far nothing and the wedding is in two days.

I have another client who is getting married at a beautiful venue here at the Jersey Shore.   She’s been going to area bridal shows to listen to bands and has taken the time to walk through the exhibitors area.  She stopped to speak to one professional who asked her where her wedding will take place and when told the name of the venue responded “Well I guess you don’t have to worry about a budget.”  WHAT???!!!  Does that mean now that you know the venue you’re going to jack up the price??  If her reception was at the Super 8 motel would you lower your price or not give her the time of day because you think she doesn’t have a big budget?  I am flabbergasted that a professional would make such an assumption based on just the reception location.

Personal experience trumps hearsay every time.  I always try to find out the details so I can draw my own conclusions.  A variety of references from people who have worked with the professional in the past is a great place to start.  Some people are like Chicken Little (going back to the ex-boss again) – the sky is always falling.  Most of the time the situation is not as dire or dramatic as originally presented.  Like any good detective I try to do my research before drawing any conclusions.  There are plenty of other ways to get your exercise other then jumping to conclusions!!

Playing with the Band

At a recent wedding the father of the bride had a request – he wanted to do the Hustle with his sister.  I went up to the band leader and gave him the request.  “Sure” he said, “Give me about 10 minutes.”  Time passed and I reminded him again.  “We’re working it in” he said.  No one ever got to roll their arms or sway their hips to Hustle that night.

Earlier I had given him another request to have a contest to give away the centerpieces.  “OK” was the reply.   By the time he made the announcement half the centerpieces and the guests were already gone (Note:  make sure announcements like this are made right before the cake is cut when you have everyone’s attention).

When you have a band they’re not as flexible as a DJ.  If you want to have a contest to give away the centerpieces make sure it’s on the activity sheet with all the other announcements given to the band prior to the wedding.

If someone wants a special song – and the Hustle was just a request that came out of the blue – make sure it’s on their play list before making the request.  If they didn’t rehearse it, or they don’t know it, it’s not going to get played no matter how many times you ask and they OK you to death.

A band requires more advance planning then a DJ.  It’s likely they’ve made a set play list (with breaks) that was rehearsed and distributed to all members prior to the event.  Adding a song means another one has to be taken out and if they’re in the middle of a set it may have to wait until the next set and then it’s possible it will be forgotten by the time the next set gets underway.  Ask to see your bands play list BEFORE your event so you can check if any of your “do not” play songs are on it.  A DJ can be much more flexible.  If a DJ doesn’t have the song you want it’s likely they can download it from iTunes before the night is over.