Tweet, Tweet, Tweet

I am going to be amongst those telling my grandchildren that Twitter was new when I first got onto to it and that I remember when Facebook was for college students only.  They will look at me like I have two heads.  I’m slowly getting the hang of Twitter.  I find it to be a cyber abyss similar to links on the internet – one leads to another and before you know it an hour has gone by and I have no idea why.

I am becoming competitive with my social networking – “become a fan” on Facebook; “follow me” on Twitter.  I will my numbers to go up each day as I search for relevant content.  I try to come up with unique ideas that I find in the (what seems like) hundreds of trade related magazines I read each month or post info about new professionals and trends in the wedding and event industry that I think might be worth noting.

I bring an old fashioned approach to my work as an event planner and I think I have an old fashioned view of social networking.  Bring some value and experience while keeping content relevant not boring and not too personal.   Really??  Who cares what I do all day??

So if you’ve got the time – become a fan of All the Best Wedding & Celebrations on Facebook or follow @ATBWeddings on Twitter.  Let me know if you like what I post and if you have any suggestions for new posts.

What Just Happened??

Last Friday I attempted to load a security software suite that had been charged to my account monthly for almost a year but had not yet been installed.  Something went horribly wrong during the installation and my entire hard drive was virtually wiped out.  No one from tech support knows what happened (“this has never happened before”).  Fortunately I have an external back up and was able to restore the majority of my files with the exception of e-mail.   It appears that I’m missing about one year’s worth of information including all the dates stored on my calendar.  It has taken me four days to restore what I know to have been lost.  The rest will be done as I go along and realize something’s missing.

As a wedding planner I am the external back up for my clients.   The list of services we provide is extensive, however, the best planned event can still have a glitch or two.  If you don’t have an event coordinator – who’s going to handle those glitches for you on your wedding day??

I have consulted with a few clients who have decided not to use my services for a variety of reasons.  I have heard stories after the event was over that includes the groom missing the entire cocktail hour because their DJ showed up with an iPod and no play list.  Or the venue that can host more than one event at a time and got the passed hors d’oeurves mixed up for two events  so that each got the others food.   Then there was the bride who wanted to control every last detail which caused her to be 2 hours late for her pre-ceremony pictures which then delayed her ceremony by almost an hour  which then caused her to have to pay for overtime so that her reception wasn’t cut short.  The list goes on and on.

A wedding is a once in a lifetime experience.  Don’t be caught wondering “what just happened?” without a good back up.  If you’re not going to hire an event coordinator then designate someone not involved with the wedding party to take care of any issues that might pop up.   Most weddings go off without any glitches – have your back up ready just in case!

It IS What you Know!

Today I arrived in Indianapolis to attend my first Association of Bridal Consultants Annual Fall Conference.  My seat mate on the plane was a very nice man who is an education consultant to school districts throughout the US who have more students that are failing then are passing.  His career includes 22 years as a classroom teacher and he told me that he stills reads and studies constantly.  “Every good teacher ” he told me “is always learning.”  After observing in the classrooms, he works out a plan that is specific to each district, then he guides the team of teachers and administrators through the implementation process for his action plan.  In one of his districts the 7th graders went from having the lowest math scores in the district to among the highest.

As we were getting off the plane I realized that our work processes are very similar.  Granted, I’m not raising the education level of our nation’s youth, however, guiding clients through the process of planning their wedding is truly a milestone in their lives.  After a consultation with my clients I put my education and 25+ years of experience to work.  An action plan is formulated which is then implemented by guiding my clients and their family and friends through the process.

I still get a thrill when I learn something new.  That will never get old.  I’m looking forward to taking advantage of all this conference has to offer and to participating in other conferences, classes, and networking opportunities as they become available throughout my career as an event planner.  The more I can bring to the table for my clients, the better!!

Is it Better to Give Then to Receive???

I started out as a proponent of receiving lines.  As a guest at a wedding a few years ago I was very disappointed that there was no receiving line.  I thought that was just plain rude!

Up until a few weeks (and weddings) ago I would always recommend a receiving line when asked.  TheKnot.com says that etiquette dictates that you should have a receiving line if you have over 50 guests. Emily Post mentions “if you have one” in some of her posts.

The main reason I changed my mind is because a receiving line can be very time consuming and sometimes time is not your friend.   The Association of Bridal Consultants Professional Development Program says to allocate 20 seconds per guest for a receiving line.   If you have 150 guests that’s 50 minutes.

My new mindset takes into consideration where the ceremony takes place vs where the reception will be held; how long of a break there is between the two;  and if the bride and groom will be seeing each other before the ceremony for pictures.  Even if you do a receiving line, not everyone will have made it to the ceremony, so the bride and groom may still feel obligated to visit each table. Whether you do a receiving line or not the bride and groom  should make every effort to greet each guest whether after the ceremony or during the reception.

IMHO I present the following scenarios for your consideration:

(1) If the bride and groom saw each other before the ceremony, and the wedding is off site from the reception, and there is more than 2 hours between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of cocktail hour and the venue is less then a 1/2 from the ceremony and there are less than 150 guests at the church – go for the receiving line.

(2) Given the same situation above but the bride and groom did not see each other before the ceremony a receiving line is still doable depending on how much you want to get done before cocktail hour starts (or finishes). Figure an hour for the receiving line, another 1/2 hour back inside the church for pictures, another 1/2 hour for the trip to the picturesque site for bride and groom portraits.  That’s 2 hours right there assuming that everyone is ready for their picture when called.  If it takes another 1/2 hour to get to the reception venue then you’ll probably have time to enjoy part of your cocktail hour with your guests.  If there is  less than 2 hours between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of cocktail hour a receiving line can still be done with the knowledge that the bride and groom probably won’t make cocktail hour at all.

(3)  If your ceremony and reception are at the same site and the conclusion of the ceremony is the signal to start cocktail hour then seriously consider not having a receiving line especially if the bride and groom did not see each other before the ceremony.  That hour will go by very quickly and the newlyweds will have no time to enjoy cocktail hour. They may even  delay introductions which will then cut into the time allotted for dinner and dancing.

(4)  Given scenarios 1 and 2.  If you have over 200 guests at the ceremony I’d vote a big “no” for the receiving line even if there’s more than 2 hours in between.  It would take the last people in line over an hour to get out of the church and that’s way too long for anyone to stand in line.

So answer this – Is it better to give (yourself a break and some extra time) then to receive (the well wishes of your guests when you’ll see them all in a few hours at the party)?  Can’t wait to hear what you think!

The Value of a Wedding Planner

The wedding industry is not immune to the current economy.  Venues and professionals are all seeing cutbacks in bookings.  I’ve spoken to photographers who are booking more “basic” packages than ever before.  Services like video are being cut out completely, DJs are replacing bands, and everyone is talking about how clients want to negotiate their prices downward.

It seems to me that while quite a few brides want a wedding planner it’s the first item to go as the budget shrinks and costs for other services rise.  There are lots of different kinds and levels of wedding planners from very expensive (think David Tutera and Colin Cowie) to not so expensive (think someone who has no actual experience but took a course, put up a website, and now calls themself a wedding planner) to all price points in between.

Keeping in mind that I’m a wedding planner – I can honestly say that having the right wedding planner adds value to your event.  How you might ask??  Let me give you some examples.

A recent full service clients saved almost $4,000 after I went over their contracts with all their vendors and professionals.  When her guest count fell short of their minimum guarantee I made sure they didn’t pay for meals no one will eat while still keeping the venue happy.

A day of event client paid more for her flowers and transportation services then she should have because she wouldn’t pay the minimal amount to add these services to her contract with me.  I am confident that I could have saved her close to $1000 when the additional services would have cost her much less than that.

Some of the professionals that I work with will add services at no charge or waive some fees for my clients. I’ve been able to negotiate deals with other professionals as well.  It’s all about relationships.

I had a consultation recently with a mother of the bride for day of event service.  I love the venue where the wedding will take place and really thought the consultation went well.  After receiving my service proposal she decided not to book my services because she felt she didn’t need the amount of work that I was proposing.  The items she felt she didn’t need were the very essence of my day of event service and she was looking to pay substantially less then what I proposed.  While I was disappointed I wished them well.  I heard after the fact that quite a few things didn’t go as planned ……

I truly believe that you get what you pay for.  In the past when I’ve tried to work with clients on pricing it’s bitten me in the butt big time.  All the wedding professionals I’ve spoken to agree that those who want to pay the least usually end up asking for the most.  Please keep this in mind when you’re looking to book the professionals for your event.  I will speak only for myself when I say if you’re price shopping I am not the planner for you.  I’m not saying my prices are higher than everyone else because they’re not, however, 25+ of experience comes at a higher price then someone who just took a course.

If you want value added to your wedding here at the Jersey Shore give me a call.  The consultation is free!  See?  You’re saving money already!!

Why You Need a Wedding Planner

I haven’t posted to my blog for quite a while because my husband and I have been in the process of selling our home, buying another one, and renovating it.  We closed on the new house in December 2008 and it took until March 2009 for the renovations to begin even though I had hired an architect and had plans by the time the contractor was hired before Christmas. We will be in by Father’s Day because we will be homeless if we’re not.

We had a consultation with a professional construction consultant.  For a reasonable hourly fee the consultant would help us interview contractors, go over our contracts with all the sub-contractors, make sure we had the proper permits, keep track of the work being done to make sure it was being done properly and represent us during inspections.  When I found out that we were going to be way over our original budget the first thing cut was the consultant.

We hired an extremely reputable general contractor whose references basically said he walks on water (I totally agree and would recommend him to anyone).  We told him we had to be in the new house by May 20th because that’s when we had to be out of our rental house.  He filled out all the permit applications for us and personally walked them to where they needed to go downtown.  After days of sitting on someone’s desk and countless phone calls we found out that our township (unbeknownst to all of us – including the contractor) had passed a new ordinance requiring a grading plan.  This plan insures that the run off from any new construction will not affect your neighbor’s property.  It took us an additional 30 days to hire an engineer, get the plan done, submit the new paperwork to the township and FINALLY get the permit we needed to start work.

That 30 days meant that we would not meet the May 20th deadline and would have to move again.  The 2nd rental had not had phone service for 6 years prior to us moving in.  It took me 6 days to get a land line and 10 days to get internet service.  I was on my cell phone for a minimum of 2 hours per day trying to get this done.  The internet service is still intermittent but at least it works most of the time.  The amount of time, effort and additional funds it took for the 2nd move is way more then what the consultant would have cost us and that does not include the cost of my sanity.  The loss of 30 days also means that we’ll be moving into our renovated house at the height of wedding season.  Instead of being able to enjoy the move and take my time in unpacking we’re going to be living out of boxes for weeks until I can get to them.

Hindsight is 20/20.  Since my husband and I don’t know a bloody thing about the construction industry I now see that hiring a professional construction consultant was a necessity not a luxury.  We would have gotten the benefit of his experience as he acted as our liaison.  We would have had access to his unbiased opinion as we made choices along the way.  He would have been able to recommend a more thorough architect and, perhaps, more cost effective subcontractors. He would have had their quotes reflect the real work to be done not just what the architect put in the plans so that we wouldn’t be so ridiculously over budget right now.

When I have an initial consultation with potential new clients part of our conversation centers around how planning a wedding is different and more stressful then anything you might have ever done before.  I try to explain that as an experienced professional planner I can bring value to them by helping guide them through the process and by saving time, money and stress. I can’t tell you how much I wish I’d followed my own advice!

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know – Part II

I have several clients who are getting married at a very upscale location here at the Jersey Shore.  They pay a fee to rent the facility.  They knew they had to hire a caterer, entertainment, and a florist.  They didn’t know that tables, chairs and linens for cocktail hour (or outside of the dining room) were not included. This is an additional expense they were not anticipating and are only finding this out as they negotiate their contract with the caterer and florist.

Recently I read a posting on a DJs website whom I use often (well as often as he’s available – he’s a busy guy!).  The comment was from a bride who came to the realization that while her wedding day is very important to her and her fiance it’s just one day in their lives.  They do want their wedding day to be special but they don’t want the tears of frustration that have already been shed to turn to tears of anger.

Weddings can be stressful.  As happy a day as it’s supposed to be – stress does play a big part in wedding planning.  That’s one of the things you don’t know until you’re in the midst of it.  Things you thought would be easy turn out to be more difficult then anybody could have anticipated (“Why can’t Uncle Joe sit with Cousin Jeff and his wife?”).  Things that appeared in a magazine have a way of not being the same when you want the same thing (“But the summer issue of <name that bridal magazine> showed peonies in the bride’s bouquet for only $100!  Why is my bouquet going to cost 5x that???” (because peonies aren’t in season at the time of your wedding and will have to be imported and that’s IF the florist can get them).

If you had $25,000 to invest would you use your best friend’s brother’s college roommate to invest it because he used a dart and the stock chart to pick his investments once and made a profit or would you hire a professional to help you get the most out of that money??  If you’re spending $25,000 on your wedding would you know where to go and who to hire to get the most out of your investment? Or would you hire a professional wedding planner to help you manage your budget, learn the things you didn’t know you didn’t know, and get the most bang for your bucks?

Even as a professional wedding planner I learn new things that I didn’t know I didn’t know almost everyday. Do you know where to spend and where to save?  Do you know what else you don’t know you didn’t know??  Investing in a professional planner is easier then you might think.  Start with a consultation, ask as many questions as you can, ask for references, and get a proposal in writing then take it from there.  Then you’ll come to know what you didn’t know and change those tears of frustration to tears of joy!

Timing is Everything

All the Best recently did a wedding at a beautiful multi-function venue in northern NJ that has a strict policy of not allowing brides to see each other. We were rushed through the rehearsal that was held prior to the ceremony and the venue’s on-site coordinator started the ceremony early (my protesting did nothing to dissuade him).  This lead to confusion during the ceremony and some guests not getting in to see the ceremony even though they arrived before the allotted time.  There was also an issue with photographs being taken outside of the reception area without permission from the on-site coordinator.  “You’re not allowed outside without asking me”  the photographer and bride were told after they were found in the hallway with the bride’s aunt for a special photo.

If you’re considering a venue that can hold more then one event at a time ask who’s in charge of timing – you or them.  Also ask how strict they are about one bride seeing another and if permission is required before the bride can leave the reception area for any reason.  If you don’t like the answers to your questions or if they don’t seem flexible in their policy – another venue might be for you.

I am a firm believer in being on time.  If the invitation says the ceremony is at 6:00pm that doesn’t mean 6:15 pm or 6:30pm.  The processional starts at 6:00pm.  The longer you wait to start the ceremony the less time you may have to enjoy your cocktail hour.  If your timeline is delayed because you got a late start with your ceremony, or you’re late starting introductions at the reception, your reception venue isn’t going to add on extra time at the end so that you get your four hours (unless you pay for it of course).

Extending your Wedding Reception Past the Contracted Time

If you’re thinking of extending your event past the contracted time period (if it’s your wedding reception that’s usually 5 hours including cocktail hour), and don’t have an event planner, make sure to mention it to all your vendors including the reception venue ahead of time. Every vendor who stays (entertainment, photographer, videographer) will charge you extra to stay and that’s on top of what the venue will charge you for the OT for their wait staff and alcohol. If the venue charges on a per person basis it will be based on the # of guests you gave as the final count NOT the # of guests who are still there at the time you decide to extend. Consider an after party at a nearby bar instead (either planned or spontaneous). Everyone will pay for their own drinks (including yours) and you can dance the night away to the band that’s playing. It’s another way to save money and your vendors will appreciate it if they weren’t planning on being there past their contracted time and may not be prepared to stay.